Dear God No! (2011)
Review by Jude Felton
Not so long ago I found myself dealing with Nuns of the nude persuasion, which wasn’t an altogether horrific experience if I must say so myself. In the opening scenes of Dear God No! we get assaulted with Nuns in a far less comfortable predicament. Suffice to say that they don’t fair too well, which would be a mild understatement, and this really sets the tone for the entire filthy movie.
Dear God No! is a movie that I have been wanting to check out ever since I first saw the trailer a few months back. That, coupled with the lush poster that accompanied it, really whet the appetite for what I hoped would be a sleazy, violent and outrageous retro-style exploitation flick. As I have mentioned before though, and no doubt will again at some point, trailers can be misleading, in fact some companies should be sued for false advertising, but quite frankly this trailer didn’t leave all that much open to interpretation. And, to cut a long story short, the movie does deliver on the promises made.
So, what is this fearsome beast about then? I hear you ask. Well, I could rattle on about a gang of bikers named the Impalers who are on a murderous rampage and finally end up at the country house of a disgraced scientist who is working on a major discovery. Or I could just say that it features big hairy psycho bikers, Nuns, Nazi’s, topless dancers called Nixon’s Vixens, Bigfoot, Rape, Murder, Beer drinking, hallucinations, an idiot named Todd, a horny demon(ish) woman, decapitations, disembowelments and…I could go on. I think you get the picture though. Right?
Dear God No! is filth, pure and simple, an outrageous movie that takes no prisoners, pisses in your cereal and then watches you eat it. And god damnit you will smile while you do it. It is a fun movie, albeit an incredibly violent and unsubtle one, and there are some really uncomfortable scenes to sit through. This isn’t high art though; this is a throwback to a time when movies, and movie makers, just didn’t give a shit.
To look at the film, which was indeed shot on film, you instantly get that old school feel. Dear God No! isn’t a polished looking movie, it certainly looks the part, but that is not to say that it isn’t well made because it is. You can tell that a lot of heart and soul went into creating this flick, and it’s one that I had fun watching. I won’t go on too much about the acting herein as it isn’t really the sort of film where you focus on the acting chops. Suffice to say Jett Bryant, as Impalers leader Jett, gives a charismatic and cold performance, one in which you just don’t know what he will do next. In fact all the Impalers were a blast to watch, as they are all seriously unhinged.
On the downside, amidst all the on screen mayhem, I did find that the movie had pacing issues in places. It could have done to have been tightened up a little, particularly towards the beginning of the movie. This did seem to work itself out though as the movie progressed.
Overall, Dear God No! was a fun, violent and disturbing movie that is probably best served up with a beverage or ten. If ever a movie chose the right name it was this one. If dirty, sleaze-ridden violence is your thing I suggest you check this movie out whenever you get the chance.
The Dear God No! that I reviewed was a screener copy. You can keep updated with screenings and other news by checking out the movie's Facebook page or its Official Site.
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