Filthy Review - Nude Nuns with Big Guns

Nude Nuns with Big Guns (2010)

Review by Jude Felton

Director Joseph Guzman seems to have a knack of coming up with snappy names for his movies. Sure, Nude Nuns with Big Guns, which was made in 2010, is only his second feature length movie, but it is following on from Run! Bitch Run! They catch the eye for sure. In fact not only do they have catchy titles in common, they also have similar themes, of revenge amongst others, as well as a little in movie tie-in.

During my review of 2009’s Run! Bitch Run! I make mention of the opening scenes containing drugs, nudity, blood and nuns. This is mainly down to the fact that the short movie from which Nude Nuns with Big Guns is based is showing on a TV set. So, it obviously made good sense to make that into a full length feature film. Hell, it worked out just dandy for Jason Eisener’s Hobo with a Shotgun, so why not with a bunch of nude nuns?

The story is a classic tale of drugs, violence, sex and a shitload more violence. In a corrupt church the priest has his nuns, who are nude of course, make and package drugs for the local biker gang, Los Muertos. One of the nuns, Sarah, finds herself enslaved by the gang, and its leader Chavos, and hanging onto life by a very thin thread.

The long and short of it being that Sarah does manage to escape, and thanks to what she thinks is divine intervention, finds herself transformed into an ass-kicking sister of vengeance. There is of course slightly more to the plot and film, but you wouldn’t want everything spelled out for you, would you?

If Run! Bitch Run! was, intentionally, a little rough around the edges, then Nude Nuns with Big Guns is a far more polished affair. It does manage to retain that modernized grindhouse feel, however the movie seems to have a far more accomplished feel to it. It does wear its influences for all to see, I couldn’t help but see and hear the movies of Tarantino, Rodriguez and even the maestro Sergio Leone, as this flick played out. This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, although I would have liked to see Guzman stamp a little more of his own identity on the film.

As for the content of the film it really is awash with all the good stuff you might expect. You have lashings of violence, nudity and all other manner of sinful content to keep fans of nu-exploitation happy. The cast, clothed or other otherwise, all seemed to relish their roles and as such put in remarkably solid performances, with probably the stand-out being David Castro as Chavo.

Nude Nuns with Big Guns is a classic case of a movie just being damned good fun. Yes, there are plenty of unsavory moments to behold, but the tone of the movie is far from the more serious and disturbing movies that have cropped up of late. It may also not be the most original piece of cinema to ever grace the screen, yet there is more than enough going on to remain thoroughly enjoyable.

If the current trend of trying to replicate the bygone era of grindhouse flicks grinds on you, then this probably isn’t the movie for you. If not then you will find an outrageous and entertaining blast of cinema (and nudity!).

Nude Nuns with Big Guns is released on Blu-ray and DVD on February 14th by Image Entertainment